When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
