He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
