Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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