I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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