hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
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Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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