Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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