the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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