PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
