I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
