Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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