I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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