Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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