He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
