i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize