Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
