Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize