He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
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If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
This can only be settled by a dance off.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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