I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
