I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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