Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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