Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
