halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
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