I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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