hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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