She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
