what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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