my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
