He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What drink are we having for lunch?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
