Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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