she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
