well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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