its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
