Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You ruined the universe
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
