So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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