Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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