I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
