Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize