it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
