hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants are for mortals
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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