she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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