i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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