Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
