Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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