Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
