she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
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