Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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