Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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