my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
