Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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