Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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