all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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