Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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