This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
