i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
