well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I think i got beer on your cat.
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