i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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