We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
