but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize